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User blog:Awesomesix/Awesome Rap Battles 23: Jack the Ripper vs Dexter Morgan
Read this part before going "wat" So, I was reading through my old battles and thought "holy crap, some of these are shit(tier than usual if you want to be mean ;-;)", and I was feeling like I should bring it back. Instead of kicking it off right off the bat, I thought "why not remake older battles?" and so here I am, remaking old battles, once a month until February 2016, when I'll start my return. Before you say "BUT YOU ENDED ARB", I paused it. "I'm discontinuing my rap battles, or pausing them, I guess." "I'm going to keep them up so if I want to pick it up again eventually, I can." Information Original release date: June 16, 2014 Original battle: here Why I remade: "The name’s Jack, prepare for attack, better watch your back, I’m crazy, I get all the ladies, I’m spitting game, you’re just insane, don’t forget lazy," etc. Most proud of: Jack the Ripper's new verses, more references. Thanks to: -TheAssyrianAssassin1337 -Tigerisnormal -Epicnail -Firebrand795 (she'll know why) Beat used (if any): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fz7so9RMjRI (I know Tiger and Bantha used it, but Tiger linked it before their battle and I liked it) Loosely used in making. Battle |-| Lyrics and Polls= AWESOME RAP BATTLES REMAKES! JACK THE RIPPER VERSUS! DEXTER MORGAN! BEGIN! Dexter Morgan: I’ll overflow this loathsome loser like an Etorphine dose, Cause I’m the lethal freak the people love to see the most! I’m a neat monster, you like to get dirty with the diseased, When Dexter gives a Slice of Life, he’s gonna feed you every piece! I’m a terror interrogator, to me you’re Sean Bean with a knife, Who was so busy going after Maries, he couldn’t go target a wife! Being reborn has shown me things that feral brain couldn’t manage, Like how to dispose of corpses right instead of exhibiting the damage, I’ll chop you like a redwood and nick you down to mash and sausage, While I’m solving crimes and ending lives, you meddle with brothel profits! You’re not worth the time to question, so I’ll cut straight to the chase: I’ll clean up this slimy limey’s smile so good it’s like my name was Colgate! Jack The Ripper: It’s a Whitechapel Chap stepping in to Chapman an American Psycho, Who takes his murders in Stride, there’s no trace wherever I go! Leave you grabbing for your abdomen, like my appetite, my flows are sick! I’m off the Whitewall, you’re off the air. Now tell me who’s bound to stick! This novel novice is gonna learn what it’s like to disembowel properly, When I verbally tear him apart, then leave him to the police’s property! You cheated on your wife, I had the decency to kill the whores instead, My rhymes will give you a lobotomy, leave you lying chard like Deb! Close your eyes and let the Sickert killer paint a picture of the situation, My anonymity gives me identity, no one remembers this creation! This butcher’s botched his final time, now you’re really in some shit, I have no problem adding to my list the new canonical sixth! Dexter Morgan: All this boasting with only five victims? You’re not eerie, just lame! When it comes to being emcees, this poet’s nothing but a stage name! I’ll surprise this motherfucker like my name was James Doakes, Cause no Mary Poppins looking fucker’s gonna beat me in a boast! I’m the Walter White of murderers, you’re the Dahmer of Britain! The antidote to my cold rhymes is a nice coat of plastic and some swimming! Jack the Ripper: Battling me is Dexter in the Dark, what’ve you got to use against me? No forensics or definites, I’m a case that can’t be solved by injecting, The cops are on a strand for me, you do their dirty work, pretending, To be a vicious villain, when you’re just a sadistic Sherlock, meddling, In your own silly little interviews, while I spend time killing swiftly! Now, it’s time to follow mummy as the second Morgan to get a ripping! WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT! AWESOME RAP BATTLES REMAKES! Who won? Jack the Ripper Dexter Morgan What should I remake for May? Michael Jackson vs Freddie Mercury Charles Darwin vs Ash Ketchum Ozzy Osbourne vs Marilyn Manson Kurt Cobain vs Jimi Hendrix Carl Gauss vs Archimedes John Taffer vs Gordon Ramsay Sylvester Stallone vs Arnold Schwarzenegger King Henry VIII vs Bill Clinton Note: The remake finale is an obvious one. April remake: |-| Rap Meanings= These were made to explain any lines not understood. Also, they helped me make sure my lyrics worked well and I could explain them. Tada. Dexter: '''I’ll overflow this loathsome loser like an Etorphine dose, (Dexter begins by saying he will inject Jack with Etorphine, the drug he uses to kill his victims. The term “overflow” is a pun on “overdose”, the latter meaning to give or take more medications than necessary and endanger your health, the former being Dexter claiming his verses will kill Jack due to the flow they have. Due to being an infamous unidentified serial killer, Jack is very notorious and loathsome, and could be considered a loser by some due to his pastime.) Cause I’m the lethal freak the people love to see the most! (As an entertainment character, Dexter’s murders are usually given better light due to his role in the show and its focus on him, and his personality and behavior can be loved by many as he is fictional, therefor not an actual psychopath. Being a show, people can wait and anticipate his next episode and what he will do, and will enjoy when it plays. His style in killing and how he does it can be considered lethal as he uses drugs in the process, which can be more fatal than a wound.) I’m a neat monster, you like to get dirty with the diseased, (“I’m a neat monster” is a quote by Dexter about himself, as his murdering is very inhumane, but he makes sure his crimes are well cleaned after as to not get caught, such as disposing of bodies. Jack, on the other hand, murders prostitutes, who are often mocked for having STDs due to their amounts of sex, and Dexter assumes that since Jack comes in contact with them, he is contracting the diseases as well. To get dirty with someone is to have sex with them.) When Dexter gives a Slice of Life, he’s gonna feed you every piece! (The Slice of Life is the ship Dexter uses to dispose of bodies, and a “slice” is a piece. Here, Dexter likens his boat’s name to his rapping, saying he’ll show Jack the Ripper the truth, or feed him every slice of life.) I’m a terror interrogator, to me you’re Sean Bean with a knife, (Dexter’s role in sheriff department is interrogations, which he carries out with his murders. Investigations usually make the interrogated nervous, and Dexter’s nature doesn’t help much. Together, these facts make him a lethal killer. Sean Bean is a British actor known for having most of his roles die; Dexter calls Jack weak or pathetic in this comparison.) '' '''Who was so busy going after Maries, he couldn’t go target a wife!' (Two of Jack’s victims, Mary Jane Kelly and Mary Ann Nichols, were named Mary. To marry someone is to wed to them, and in Jack’s case, he would most likely marry a woman. Dexter makes a pun, saying Jack was too distracted by killing both Maries, he didn’t actually get married. A killer usually kills a victim by targeting them. The wife statement is somewhat ironic, as one Jack the Ripper suspect was gay.) Being reborn has shown me things that feral brain couldn’t manage, (In his show, Dexter was “reborn” after being forced to sit in a puddle of his mother’s blood for a while. Doing this made his views change, and Dexter proves this by saying he had experienced and learned things because of it. He calls Jack primitive and stupid, and that he couldn’t handle what Dexter did, because his brain is more akin to an animal’s. To add insult to injury, Dexter was a kid when experiencing the rebirth, so he is indirectly saying Jack is dumber than a toddler, who still has to learn many basic things.) Like how to dispose of corpses right instead of exhibiting the damage, (One of the things Dexter claims to have learned from the rebirth is how to kill properly, and how to rid of the bodies; in his case, dump them into the bay. Jack’s victims were left in open daylight and clearly found, which would jeopardize a killer’s subtlety greatly by giving evidence. According to Dexter, Jack was probably displaying his works as a boast.) I’ll chop you like a redwood and nick you down to mash and sausage, (On the final episode or so of his television show, Dexter became a logger and moved to Oregon. One thing loggers do is chop trees, and redwoods are a plentiful tree in Oregon State. Bangers and mash is a meal in Britain made of sausage and potatoes. Dexter says he will turn Jack into this meal by delivering a fatal blow with his axe then brutally murdering him.) While I’m solving crimes and ending lives, you meddle with brothel profits! (Dexter’s murders were usually for the good of the police department, putting an end to many cases. He sees this as a somewhat good thing, as he uses it to contrast Jack murdering prostitutes, employees at brothels, which aren’t seen as very important and morale, therefor not mattering like solving a crime would.) You’re not worth the time to question, so I’ll cut straight to the chase: (Despite interrogating criminals and working along with detectives against horrible human beings, and being a killer himself, Dexter finds Jack pathetic and a waste of time, and decides to get to his point to finish the battle already…) I’ll clean up this slimy limey’s smile so good it’s like my name was Colgate! (Jack’s hygiene state could be considered poor for many reasons, such as the conditions of the corpses and suspected appetite. Here, however, Dexter says instead he’ll clean him up, and mentions the stereotype of British teeth being kept poorly. A limey is a slang term for a British person, and Dexter implies due to being British, his teeth, and to extent his smile, are slimy from plaque buildup on them. Colgate is a brand of toothpaste. To clean someone up has many meanings here; One, he could be saying he’ll fix his acts, or “clean his behavior”; he could mean literally clean him; or, Dexter could be planning to murder Jack, and refers to ridding the evidence as cleaning Jack up, literally.) Jack The Ripper: It’s a Whitechapel Chap stepping in to Chapman an American Psycho, (Jack is entering the battle, at least verse wise, at this point. Whitechapel is one place Jack committed his crimes; Chap is a stereotypical British word for “friend”. Annie Chapman is one of Jack’s Canonical Five victims, left with a slit in her throat, a disemboweled corpse, and a swollen tongue, among other casualties. American Psycho is the name of a movie about Patrick Bateman, a staple in modern fictional murder stories. Dexter’s stories were written and take place in America, so the name “American Psycho” is fitting for him. In short, Jack is going to murder Dexter.) Who takes his murders in Stride, there’s no trace wherever I go! (Elizabeth Stride is another one of Jack’s victims. To take something in stride is to be proud of something. Jack is so proud of his murders, he leaves no trace of DNA or personal information.) Leave you grabbing for your abdomen, like my appetite, my flows are sick! (One of the places many victims of Jack were found to be wounded was large cuts in their abdomen, which is around your stomach. When you’re sick, you’ll usually feel like vomiting, which one reaction is to hold your stomach. To have sick flow is to be a good rapper, and Jack claims his flow is so “sick”, that Dexter will catch it like a disease and feel ill. In reports of his crimes, many of Jack’s victims were said to have missing kidneys, which are hypothesized to be eaten by Jack himself.) I’m off the Whitewall, you’re off the air, now tell me who’s bound to stick! (Jack himself says he is insane, or off the walls, and makes a pun on Whitewall, England, a place he supposedly struck. Meanwhile, as it ended, Dexter’s show is no longer on air like a running show would be, and Jack says that because of this, no one is going to remember Dexter, whereas insane people are usually remembered better in history due to their mental state.) This novel novice is gonna learn what it’s like to disembowel properly, (Dexter’s origins first come from novels, and Jack believes Dexter is a very amateur killer, so he feels he needs to teach him how to kill someone. He begins by saying that Dexter will learn how to kill correctly, and will explain how he is planning to do so in the next line:) When I verbally tear him apart, then leave him to the police’s property! (Jack continues his line by saying he’ll murder Dexter and leave him on the property of the police, much like he supposedly did with possible victim in Whitewall found in the basement of the police department headquarters.) You cheated on your wife, I had the decency to kill the whores instead, (In the series, Dexter’s sister Debra is played by his actor’s wife, Jennifer Carpenter. At one point, she filed for divorce with Michael C. Hall, Dexter’s actor, due to his developing at the time relationship with the actress for Rita (Dexter’s wife), Julia Stiles, which the director purposefully boosted in script and most crew said they could see. Jack calls both Jennifer and Julia whores, and claims instead of cheating on Jennifer, Jack would have just killed them, seeing murdering more kind than cheating.) My rhymes will give you a lobotomy, leave you lying chard like Deb! (In the series, the Season 8 villain, Oliver Saxton a.k.a. the Brain Surgeon, kills people by decapitation then carving into their skulls, somewhat similar to a lobotomy. Jack claims his rhymes can do the same, and will mess with Dexter’s head, or he will be so good Dexter’s brain will hurt from the insults. Deb, his step sister in the series, was paralyzed by Oliver and left in a vegetative state. Chards are a type of vegetable, and the word sounds similar to “charred”, or burned. In other words, Jack is making a double entendre, claiming he will both paralyze and burn, or exceed in rapping against, Dexter.) Close your eyes and let the Sickert killer paint a picture of the situation, (One of Jack the Ripper’s possible identities, Walter Sickert, was an artist. Here, Jack is making a pun on his last name and the word “Sicker”, claiming his acts were more violent out of the two. Continuing with the painting puns, Jack is telling Dexter to close his eyes and listen to what he’s going to say, and he will “paint a picture”, a term used in literary or art discussions alike to describe explaining a scenario to let It play out, and give Dexter something to help him imagine and take in fully what he’s about to say. Him telling Dexter to close his eyes mirrors his mother telling him to close his eyes when he was young, as she was about to be slaughtered by chainsaw wielding gangsters in front of him.) My anonymity gives me identity, no one remembers this creation! (Although Jack’s true identity is unknown, thus being anonymous, he is very popular under the title “Jack the Ripper”, his lack of identity ironically giving Jack a larger identity than he would have than if we were identified, due to most of his fame coming from no one finding who he was. Meanwhile, Jack says Dexter is a simple fad in the modern media, and that he’s forgotten already despite being fairly recent, something somewhat common in today’s commercial world.) This butcher’s botched his final time, now you’re really in some shit, (A butcher is someone who chops up meat of animals for a living, which murderers are often compared to, such as Dexter, who gained the nickname the “Bay Harbor Butcher” from the police. To botch is to mess up, and Ripper is saying Dexter has done so for the last time by rapping against him, and that he’s now in some trouble.) I have no problem adding to my list the new canonical sixth! (The Canonical Five were the five prostitutes Jack the Ripper was confirmed to kill: Mary Ann Nichols, Annie Chapman, Elizabeth Stride, Catherine Eddowes, and Mary Jane Kelly. To add a new sixth member, Jack admits he’s willing to kill Dexter. This line can also be considered a jab at Dexter, calling him a prostitute, as all of the Canonical Five were.) Dexter Morgan: All this boasting with only five victims? You’re not eerie, just lame! (Dexter is disappointed by Jack’s arrogance, and calls him pathetic, as he proudly said in his last line he has five kills, while Dexter has kills supposedly stacking over the hundreds. Not only does Dexter poke fun at this little fact about Jack, he says Jack is a bad killer for his small number of victims.) When it comes to being emcees, this poet’s nothing but a stage name! (An emcee is a rapper, deejay, or someone related to the music profession, who usually uses a fake name, also known as a stage name. One of Jack’s possible identities was a poet, James Kenneth Stephen, a profession often compared to a modern day rapper. Dexter insults Jack further by saying his rapping is awful despite being a poet, and all he has is a fake title to go by, with little to show and nothing to hold himself up.) I’ll surprise this motherfucker like my name was James Doakes, (James Doakes was the sheriff and fellow coworker of Dexter who found out about Dexter’s whereabouts and murders, and is famous for the internet meme of him saying “Surprise, motherfucker”. Dexter says he’ll shock Jack like he was James reciting his famous line. Also, as James is a sheriff, it would be pretty bad for Jack to be caught and surprised by him, as he is a serial killer and was not caught by cops otherwise.) Cause no Mary Poppins looking fucker’s gonna beat me in a boast! (Dexter once again mocks Jack’s British identity as a ruthless killer by comparing him to the characters in Mary Poppins, a child friendly Disney movie based on a magical nanny and a family in Britain. He claims Jack is too mild and ridiculous looking to beat him in a rap battle, which consists of mostly bragging.) I’m the Walter White of murderers, you’re the Dahmer of Britain! (Walter White was the main protagonist of Breaking Bad, a critically acclaimed show with high ratings and even holding records for said ratings. As a television show character, Dexter finds it appropriate to compare and claim his standard among murderers is up to par with Breaking Bad’s ratings. Jeffery Dahmer, on the other hand, was an infamous killer, known for killing and raping men and male children, and eating them. Dexter finds him disgusting, and insults Jack by stating he’s as low down and disturbing as Dahmer, and he’s practically to Britain what Jeffery was to the U.S.) The antidote to my cold rhymes is a nice coat of plastic and some swimming! (In the show, Dexter would dispose of bodies by putting them in plastic bags and dumping them off the side of his boat the Slice of Life. Dexter believes his lines are so cold, or down right offensive and harsh towards Jack, that he’ll need something to “cure”, or recover from, the insults, and recommends Jack let Dexter kill him. Also, a “coat” of plastic is a pun on “cold rhymes”, as people often wear coats to protect themselves against cold winds.) Jack the Ripper: Battling me is Dexter in the Dark, what’ve you got to use against me? (One of Dexter’s origin novels is titled Dexter in the Dark. To be in the dark on something is to not have any idea or ways to solve or work on something; in laments terms, it’s being stuck with no hope on something. As no one knows Jack’s true identity, nothing concrete about him personally can be used against him, only guesses and the murders. So Jack believes Dexter can’t dis him due to lack of material.) No forensics or definites, I’m a case that can’t be solved by injecting, (Continuing his previous line, Jack says no DNA or concrete details on his life are known, one reason Dexter can’t, according to Jack, insult him well. He then refers to how Jack usually deals with criminals while investigating, by injecting them with Etorphine. However, Jack says doing that would get nothing out of him, so it’s no use trying.) The cops are on a strand for me, you do their dirty work, pretending, (To be on a strand for something is to not have an idea or beginning of one to understand something. This is a pun on the forensics mentioned in the previous line, as only a single bit of possible DNA is the hope to identify Jack, and the one time anyone came close to figuring out Jack proved wrong. While Jack is still confusing cops today, Dexter was found out quickly by James Doakes, and he works for the police department, helping solve cases. By murdering the criminals, he does the department’s “dirty work” of punishing them. Jack uses this to compare their stances as killers; Jack is a mystery confusing everyone, while the cops (unknowingly) let Dexter dispose of those questioned, and is even found out by James Doakes. He then claims Dexter is pretending something, continued in the next line…) To be a vicious villain, when you’re just a sadistic Sherlock, meddling, ' ''(Continuing a line once again, Jack tells Dexter that while he thinks or tries to believe he’s a vicious villain, all he is in reality is an investigator who loves murdering. Sherlock Holmes was a famous fictional detective, or investigator, and being a sadist is to love pain and suffering of others. Once again, Jack is going to continue a line.) '''In your own silly little interviews, while I spend time killing swiftly, (For another time, Jack continues his previous line, saying Dexter prefers to be in his investigations, mocking them by calling them silly and little, an insult used to make fun of someone’s hobby or interests. Unlike Dexter’s interviews, which take a while, Jack’s murders finish speedily. Jack says this to compare who is more effective; in the short run, Jack is.) Now, it’s time to follow mummy as the second Morgan to get a ripping! (Mummy is the British spelling and phonetic pronunciation of mommy. Dexter’s mother, Laura Moser, was sliced open by chainsaws in front of Dexter as a child, and Jack mocks this by using the childish spelling of mother. One can liken cutting open with a chainsaw to ripping open, and Jack is saying he’ll kill Dexter by ripping him open. This is also a pun on Jack the Ripper.) Was this helpful? Yes No Category:Blog posts